No matter how perfect a marriage is, there will be disagreements, conflicts and possibly even moments when you wonder how the two of you ever ended up married. It is in these moments that both you and your husband have the choice to either grow stronger together or put up walls and back away from each other.
So, how can you meet in the middle when there seems to be no common ground?
6 Steps for Marital Conflict Resolution
God does not desire that you and your husband are not united. His plan for marriage is that the two of you would become one. Seek Him and ask for wisdom regarding the conflict between you and your husband.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
2. Make a list outlining both your side and your husband’s side of the issue.
Looking at things on paper can sometimes help make sense of what your heart or your feelings are mixing up, while at other times it is a communication error and both of you are saying the same thing. After making this list, take time to try and understand his side. Find something that you both agree on and use that to open up the conversation again in the near future.
But first you must…
3. Be willing to meet in the middle.
Your human nature is to demand that it be your way or the highway, but that does not work with God’s design for two becoming one.
You must be willing to let go of your demands in order to allow God’s plan to be fulfilled. <<— Share this truth.
Every way of a man [is] right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts. Proverbs 21:2
4. If it’s not important…let it go.
Sometimes after further inspection, prayer and the passing of time, what seemed important before really isn’t that big of a deal. It is this moment that is often the hardest step for you (and I) to take, but it is essential for the growth of your marriage. Just let it go.
5. Prepare your heart and mind to discuss things with your husband.
Keeping to yourself and avoiding the issues at hand will not make the disagreement or conflict go away. After spending time in prayer and looking at both sides of the issue, you must prepare yourself to discuss things with your husband so that you both can move forward.
It’s important to not let a disagreement or conflict in your marriage to fester. The longer it goes undiscussed or swept under the carpet, the harder it will be to bring it up again in the future. There is a delicate balance to be found in handling these situations, ensure that you seek the Lord and His specific directions for you.
6. Discuss both sides of the disagreement/conflict lovingly.
Start by taking time to pray together, asking God to bless your time together and for His direction to be on both of your hearts. Don’t just push your side of the issue at hand, his side is just as important to him as yours is to you. Reveal your love and respect for your husband by telling him what you discovered when you looked at his side while making your list.
While the resolution may not be what either of you was hoping for, working through the process together will strengthen your marriage and better prepare you for handling disagreements and conflict in the future.
What steps do you take to find common ground in your marital conflicts? Share your tips with us in the comments!
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