Whether it’s in business, ministry, or his everyday, wives everywhere long to see their husbands succeed.
With that comes the fear that he won’t. Personally, I find it hard to step back and let my husband do his thing when I’m convinced said thing will fail or isn’t don’t quite right.
At the fall of mankind, Eve was told that her desire would be for her husband, meaning she would desire his position as leader.
But, I also know that God’s word says my husband is placed as leader in the marriage, the home, the parenting… all of it.
Some days that doesn’t set so well with me, especially when I don’t quite see things the way my husband does.
This submission thing is hard isn’t it? But, what God asks us to do, He also provides strength to accomplish.
How to Help Your Husband Succeed
1. Pray for yourself.
Praying for yourself to have a softened , understanding heart toward your husband is a very effective way of nipping contention in the marriage at the bud.
If you are unsure how to pray for yourself to become a new wife in attitude and heart, you can find such a prayer here.
2. Respect your husband based on his God ordained position, and not so much on his bumbling human performance.
When I first considered this concept, it became very clear to me that when God told me to respect my husband, He did not add “if he deserves it” or “when he earns it”.
When I began looking at the bigger picture, I was able to rise above some of the feelings of anger and frustration, and respect my husband’s headship based on what God says rather than how I felt about a situation.
When it became an act of obedience to God, I was able to control my words and actions more.
It takes a lot of practice, but the results are immediate. More in my attitude than my husband leadership abilities.
3. Be his cheerleader.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before.
The goal here is to simply do as we are instructed in Ephesians 4:29:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs”
Key words being “according to their needs”.
I have a tendency to blurt things out. Sometimes those things aren’t very up-building to my husband.
Choosing words carefully, speaking with wisdom and faithful instruction, is a balm to any one’s heart, especially when they’ve just experienced a disappointment or their high hopes went awry.
Instead of saying “I told you so” or using the huff. or the sigh. or the disdainful facial expressions, I try to let him see that I genuinely care about and share his disappointments. The poor man is probably embarrassed enough the way it is, who am I to add insult to injury?
Extending gracious words of discretion, has a way of calling a man to greater caution and consideration the next time around.
Another aspect of being a cheerleader, is that sometimes a cheerleader does some high kicking. So when your husband needs some motivation to excel in a certain area… no don’t kick him!
A wife’s gentle kicks encouragement and assurance that she’s on his side, will be good for his heart and will enable him to see his successes as much greater accomplishments.
Encouraging your husband when you’re sure his methods will fail is a challenge. Staying positive and letting him hear only what is good and up-building when he does fail, may be even harder.
But, for me, the effort has always been worth it. It’s not always done perfectly, but it’s always worth it.
Want to be equipped and encouraged in your role as a wife? Sign up for the Wisdom for Wives On-line Conference!