Recently my husband and I became the owners of a set of rental cottages, just steps away from Moosehead Lake. It’s been his dream for years to live on the lake and it finally came true.
Since moving up here there has been a change in our relationship. We once were just a married couple striving to raise our kids to love and serve the Lord. Now we are also business partners. While we each have our own duties in regards to the business, we do have to work together at times. Whether it be to share ideas, our visions and or for projects that require more than one set of hands.
Sometimes, the working together as business partners doesn’t go well. Occasionally, we just don’t work well together for a time or we don’t agree with the way a project is going. These are the instances that must be dealt with carefully to ensure that our marriage relationship doesn’t break. These are the occasions when we must use wisdom.
James 1:5 – If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Lately I’ve been striving to work on living peacefully with my family. I tend to stress more than my husband and worry over getting the details right before tackling a project, while he just takes things as they come. Handling this difference in our personalities requires peace in my heart, my spirit and my mind. It is at these times that I ask for the peace of God…His peace that I just simply can’t understand.
Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
At times in marriage we have to choose when to leave a topic or project alone and just walk away. There are moments when silence is golden and you just need to go your separate ways. That doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t working together.
Sometimes working together means working apart. <<<— Share this truth
When faced with a conflict, often it will not be corrected in a short amount of time. Both you and your spouse need time to process the issue and weigh the options. This requires each of you being alone, which gives you the opportunity to look at the big picture and hopefully see both sides of the issue. Taking time away from a disagreement will promote peace not only within yourself, but in your marriage as well.
After we’ve had time to process and seek the Lord’s wisdom regarding the disagreement, when we come back together it is important to speak in love because our words can bring life or death to us, our spouse and our marriage relationship.
Ephesians 4:15 – But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ…
Proverbs 18:21 – Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Marriage conflict will happen, there will be times that we don’t agree, it’s part of human nature for each of us to want our own way. It is in these trying moments that we have the opportunity to be drawn together when we allow the Lord to shine His wisdom on the situation, give us peace that we simply can’t understand and bring resolution by giving us the loving words to speak that will help to grow us up to be like Christ!
How do you handle marriage conflict in a Godly way? Please, share your wisdom in the comments.