Humility says, “I need God.”
Pride says, “I am self-sufficient.”
And sometimes pride sounds lowly and needy with words like, “I’m deficient and you must meet my needs.”
Pride brings with it a burden of supplying your own needs or demanding that others supply them.
What are your needs as a wife? Who are you asking to supply those needs?
Looking back over my last twenty years, I see myself needing so much validation for being a “good” person. I worked tirelessly to be kind and easy going so people would want to be around me.
My approach was so flawed. I chose a self-sufficient persona and made myself available to meet the needs of others. Once I got married, I pinned the “he thinks I’m great” badge to my wife vest and began to look for other people to serve.
I didn’t see myself as prideful. I thought my focus on others’ needs was a humble way to live.
This false sense of humility left me unable to express my own needs while feeling I must meet everyone else’s. I’ve learned from personal experience that a wife who does not express her needs becomes bitter and resentful. When my husband, David, asked for what he wanted, I did not respond with a servant’s heart. I was exhausted and very concerned about my own unmet needs.
Why couldn’t I see how destructive my choices were?
“The pride of your heart has deceived you,” Obadiah 1:3
Pride is very deceptive. It is the devil’s poison and it leads us away from the abundant life God secured for us with Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.
Have you believed any of these lies?
I am responsible for meeting my own needs.
My husband should meet all of my needs.
My needs will likely never be met.
Do you believe this is true?
Jesus is my portion. God will supply all of my needs. I am in Christ and I have access to the unlimited resources of heaven. (Psalm 16:5, Philippians 4:19, Ephesians 1:3)
Satan wants us to doubt God will show up in our time of need. He doesn’t mind if we sing, “Your grace is enough” as long as we don’t live like it is true.
Jesus is our perfect example of true humility. When tempted by Satan, He was hungry from fasting. The first temptation was to satisfy his hunger. He had the power to do it, but He exalted God as the supplier of everyone’s needs.
Man must not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4 HCSB
You and I can follow Jesus’ example to the riches, honor and long life promised to those who put on humility.
True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life. Proverbs 22:4
A humble wife defers to God as her source. She believes God is a truth teller and that He loves her. She wears the “I need God” badge and she asks Him to move heaven and earth for her.
Exhausted from carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she retired her “I am self-sufficient” badge. She reads her Bible collecting evidence that God is able to meet her needs.
A humble wife holds up the name of her husband before God and asks for wisdom. What should she expect of him? How should she depend on him? How should she pray for him?
She invites God to help her submit to her husband. She admits she needs help dying to herself.
A humble wife invites God to empower her husband to fulfill the roles he accepted when he married her. She relies on God to fill in the gaps when she and her husband miss the mark.
She praises God for His provision and she asks Him to fill her heart with contentment.
A humble wife lays down every pretense that prohibits her child-like faith.
She praises God, the supplier of all her needs and declares, “I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)