I was newly engaged to Eric when he first asked me these questions, and quite frankly, I was dumbfounded. Really, I had never heard such questions asked of me before and I didn’t know how to respond to him.
Apparently my man had done something that offended me and that’s why he asked me,
“On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate our relationship?”
I immediately felt awkward when he asked me this. I couldn’t exactly hide my feelings on this one, which was a good thing, but I felt uncomfortable that I had to bare my soul. In fact, I tried not to answer him because I didn’t want to express my feelings and show my vulnerability. At that time in my life, to me, vulnerability equalled weakness. (Oh, how wrong I was to think that.)
He kept waiting for me to answer even though I was trying to avoid the conversation.
So I finally just said, “It’s a 5,” thinking I’d be done with this whole thing. But he didn’t let up. Instead, he asked me another question.
“What can I do or say to make it a 6?”
Squirming again. I sat there in silence. I had no immediate answer.
Being that he humbled himself and asked me those questions, I couldn’t only look at his actions and attitudes, but I had to examine myself as well. And what I found in my heart wasn’t pretty. If I remember correctly, (17 years have since passed) I think I overreacted to what took place between us!
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Prov. 11:2
Countless years have gone by since he first asked these questions, but we still ask them to this day.
Sometimes the questions get asked when one of us is bent out of shape with the other one. This method allows us to get to the heart of the matter real quick. It diffuses a lot of emotions and misunderstandings, and it helps us to examine where we’ve fallen short with the other person. It’s also a heart check for the person who’s been offended. Did we respond in a loving way or did we blow up?
Then there are times in our marriage when there are no disagreements but we ask these 2 questions anyways.
I’m always amazed with how much I can learn about my husband by doing this! What is it that he needs from me? This usually leads him to ask me what is it that he can do to better the marriage and what do I need from him.
2 of the Best Questions You Can Ask Your Husband to Strengthen Your Marriage
Might you consider asking your man these questions in the near future?
1. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our marriage?
2. What can I do or say to make that number higher?
No matter how long one has been married, a husband and wife can always learn more about how they can meet each others needs.
P.S. If you’re looking to better your marriage, check out these resources.
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